iOMG Aftermath
by Finchie
Summary: <html><head></head>After Sam unexpectedly kisses him, Freddie wonders...now what? Post iOMG. One-shot. Seddie.</html>


_This isn't happening._

"I…uh…"

_This isn't happening._

"Sorry."

_This isn't happening._

"It's cool."

_Okay, it's happening._ Why? Is this some sort of joke? If it is, Sam's really gone off the deep end this time, Freddie thinks. He looks at her face. Her eyes bore into his. Something in her expression…it's not a joke. She's serious.

Now what?

"Sam, I…I…" He pauses. Stutters. "So…not Brad, then?" _Idiot._

What else is he supposed to say to the only girl who can simultaneously act as his best friend and his archenemy? Who has just kissed him? She can't have kissed him. Maybe he's hallucinating. _What was in that fudge?_ He has to be hallucinating, he decides, as he watches the strongest person he knows crumple. He stares as her face caves in, as her legs tremble, as she backs up, away from him, into the wall, and slowly sinks to the ground. She puts her face in her hands. He hates it. He hates seeing her so vulnerable. It just isn't _Sam._

"Oh my God," she groans into her hands. "What did I just do?"

_Good question._

"Sam…"

"No. Shut up. Go play techno-geek with Brad, Freddie. This didn't happen."

"Sam, I think we should…"

"NO!" She wrenches her face back up. "Just…go."

He considers it. He _seriously_ considers it.

"Sam." He pauses, and wonders how much damage is about to be done to his body. Then he remembers his mother has a closet full of casts and bandages, and he strolls over to the wall, and sits down next to her. For a second, he stares into the window opposite, and watches a mane of dark hair duck out of sight. Well, _shit._ It's gonna be a lot of fun explaining this to Carly.

Sam laughs humorlessly. "You saw her too, huh? That's probably her idea of being sneaky. God, I love her."

"And…apparently, you love me too." _Wow, Freddie, awesome segue_. It's not a question, but it might as well be one. He needs to know.

"Of course I don't love you; I just kissed you for the hell of it. Idiot." She rolls her eyes, and he half expects her reach over and sock him in the shoulder until her head drops into her palms again.

"Hey, it's happened before, hasn't it?"

"That was different, and you know it."

"Yeah, I do." He sits for a moment. They're talking in circles, but what is he supposed to do?

"I am a moron, Freddie. My rep is totally ruined, because that's supposed to be your job. Carly's the sweet one, I'm the badass, and you're the techie moron. I wasn't supposed to kiss you, I wasn't supposed to ruin whatever the hell you call our relationship, and it's all because of your stupid app, you ASSHOLE!" He's seen so many cheesy chick flicks courtesy of Carly that he half expects her to yell this at the sky, and for it to start raining. Instead, she screams it into his face. No movie clichés for this girl. Carly's face pops up in the window again, and Sam flips her the bird without looking.

"You'll have to apologize for that later," Freddie notes.

"I know." She emits a chuckle dryer than Freddie's mom's cucumber chips. "You know what, Freddie? I'm in love with you, and it sucks. I hate it. I hate _you_."

He wonders if he should bring up the whole "I never said I hate you" thing. He decides that he values his life too much, and she continues.

"I hated you, and we were best friends, and I was fine with that. Then you had to go and ruin everything, with the arm wrestling, and becoming almost as devious as me, and how adorkable you were…" She makes a face. "I never thought I'd say the word adorkable. It tastes disgusting. And anyway, I was so tired of you, hating me and only associating me with _pain_, that I tried to be different. I just wanted to hang out with you, to be the best friend who is really nice and fun to hang out with. And then the app thing happened, and Brad, (I don't love _him_, but I freaking LOVE his fudge recipe), and then you told me to go for it, and I did, and now we're here. And it sucks."

"I don't get it, Sam. I don't get _you_. You hate me, you ruin my life, we kiss, you hate me, you're nice, then you kiss me. Again. And I feel like…" How does he feel, he wonders? Surprised, definitely. Confused, absolutely. But this feels…right, almost? He looks at the set of brown eyes peeking over the windowsill across the courtyard. He loves Carly. She's his best friend, the sweetest girl he's ever met, and he suddenly realizes that the only way he'll ever love her is in a best friend kind of way, while he's starting to see Sam as a holy terror, a pain in the butt, and someone he wouldn't mind kissing again. "It feels kind of awesome, actually."

Sam looks at him. "Really?"

Freddie nods. "Look, Sam. You're insensitive. You're rude. You're a little bit abusive." He rolls his eyes at her glare. "Oh come, on Sam. You know it's true. But besides that, you're funny. You're cool. You're _completely_ unpredictable. And you're my best friend. If I can feel this way about you with all the crap you've put me through…" He doesn't know how to finish that sentence. It turns out he doesn't have to.

"Wow." And Sam starts to laugh. At first it comes out in nervous giggles, then clear, ringing laughter, then she doubles over, in complete hysterics.

_What the hell did I just get into?_ "Um…Sam?" he eyes her nervously. "You okay?"

This only makes Sam laugh harder. "No," she gasps, eyes streaming, "no, dude, I'm_ awesome_—it's just so anticlimactic, isn't it?"

Freddie chuckles. "It really is. Come on, Princess Puckett. We're gonna have to explain all this to peeping Carly over there." He holds his hand out to her, pulling her to her feet. She doesn't let go.

She nods, and they walk back to the classroom and their nosy best friend together.

"Freddie?"

"Mhmm?"

"On the first date, I'm gonna want ham. Lots and lots of ham. Bacon, too. And some fat cakes."

"How much food are we talking here?"

"Let's just say you're gonna have to ask your mom for a lot more than eight bucks a month."

"In your dreams."

She grins. "I'm counting on it."


End file.
